We are born somewhere and we will die somewhere. Life is about wandering about, like hens. Sometimes we bump into each other.

Trying to live a balanced life is like looking for something that doesn't exist.

It is extremely difficult to give up ones religion, ideas and political opinions. Not even when one finally gets totally convinced that the thoughts are crazy. Many devout Nazis had problems with that after the war. It is like giving up smoking. Some people are coughing blood and having serious difficulties with breathing but keeps on smoking anyway.

I am wrong. I have been completely wrong for many, many years. I am fooled and I am fooling myself. I am a complete idiot. That is a tough one to swallow.

This applies to all kind of ideas, beliefs and convictions: I am ugly. I have a huge ugly nose. I am no good. I am fuckin useless. Nobody loves me. Nobody wants me…

Or: I am very good and I am smart. I am from a good family, I have got an excellent upbringing and I sure look good. I have good genes. And above everything, I am rich. I am not like the Tom, Dick and Harry’s. That is why I am entitled to so much more than all the rest.

Or:Life is about competition. Life is for the strong. One has to fight like hell to reach the top. The only thing that really counts is money, you can’t deny that. The prettiest girls prefer the richest boys. All talk about equal rights and justice is just drivel. But religion is not something to look down upon. It is a perfect cover for your true ambitions.

All convictions are dangerous. Sometimes you are right, sometimes you are wrong, but you can never be completely sure when you are right and when you are wrong. Do not trust yourself. Do not trust your inner voice.

Earlier, many people used to think of New Age spirituality as mumbo jumbo. Now we can see that all ideas the mind come up with is mumbo jumbo; gobbledygook, misunderstandings, stupidities and madness.

Thousands of people was burned alive by the Catholic church during the witch hunts; hundreds of years of slave trade, the colonial robberies, the genocides in South and North America, the exploitation of fellow men and women in Europe, the communist reaction to the atrocities that soon turned in to new nightmares; and then came Fascism and Nazism; and when the cold war was beginning to get really hot in the early sixties, when the battle was about freedom and democracy against totalitarian communism, Afro Americans didn’t have many rights at all in America, not even the right to vote in a decent way. What kind of freedom and democracy where they really fighting for in those days?
And today’s fanatic neo liberalism that is completely ruining what is left of our beautiful little planet in the hysterical quest for more and more money.

All religions, ideologies, ideas and belief systems we come up with are madness. To realize this is the beginning of the waking up process.

Doing and being must be in balance. To constantly do things makes us crazy. We live in a culture where just being is looked down upon. To do nothing is almost a crime. We are not allowed to do nothing. (Hard work keeps us from sin.) If we have free time we have to fill it with something. Football, jogging, evening classes in pottery, yoga, almost anything will do as long as we do something. During our vacations we desperately have to do something really exiting, go somewhere, have a good time, travel around the world. No wonder we are crazy and our kids are stressed out. This is a serious problem. Human beings need a lot of time to do nothing, to just be. This is in our genes, in our true nature.

But to never do anything at all is not healthy either. To be unemployed, without any interests and no kids or other people to care for, will soon make one seriously depressed. One will find it incredible hard to even get out of bed in the morning. Everything becomes heavy, like trudging along in the mud in heavy rubber boots.

Our true nature is silly. People who are relaxed and among good friends will crack jokes, do silly things, sing and laugh.
But our true nature is also to be serious, very serious. What is right and what is wrong? What is the meaning with everything? Does some part of us live on after death? To ponder over questions like this is also in our nature. Sometimes we have to take life as a joke and sometimes we have to be deadly serious about it. We need both sides of the coin.

Everyone seems to know about this, but still, very few seem to be able to live a balanced life, at least in our modern cities. Why is that so?

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Some people hide in a cloud of words, like octopuses hide in a cloud of ink. I have a friend like that. To sit down and chat with him is to drown in an avalanche of information’s he has picked up on the Internet.

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The question is not if Georg Bush junior is a moron, if he is a crypto fascist, if he is just a rich boy who only cares for his family and his billionaire friends, or if he belongs to an secret organization with an hidden agenda to create a new world order. The question is why so many people voted for him. Why did so many people vote for Hitler? The majority sided with the Sheriff of Nottingham. Only a minority supported Robin Hood. Why do the majority of people, all over the world, always side with the bad guys? This is the question.

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Many beliefs are just a cover. People pretend that they have certain beliefs just to please others. “Look what wonderful beliefs I have!” Such beliefs are not very interesting. Core beliefs on the other hand are extremely important. Core beliefs determine our actions. Should I stay or should I go? I am OK. I am a fucking idiot! We are all fucking idiots. It is OK with child labor in the third world if I can benefit from it. This is how the world is made. Should I take any action or should I not. Should I pay the price for the fair trade coffee or should I get a cheaper and better tasting unfair coffee? Are human beings essentially good, or are we egoistic monsters by birth? Are we cruel by nature? The only thing that really matters is my career. The only thing that really matters is money. Isn’t it, after all, better to cover nasty core beliefs with some pretty ideas?

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How come so called “spiritual people” never mention the appalling injustices in the world? Are they only concerned about their own well being? Do they only care about themselves? They advocate the "First you have to help yourself, then you can begin to help others theory." Mostly they seem to get stuck in the "Help yourself" part. What kind of spirituality is that?

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Is life a lottery or is it a contest? Some people win and most people loose. Some are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, some are clever and industrious, some have simply good luck. Some are born in terrible families where nothing really matters but drugs and alcohol. The winners seldom want to share their abundance with their fellow human beings. If they do it is mostly in form of charity to enhance their egos and what they give is mostly a tiny little fraction of what they have, the crumbs that are left on the floor. Sometimes they blame the unfortunate ones for being lazy or negative or not aligned to the source, sometimes they feel sorry for them, or they explain everything with the karma theory or Gods way to treat sinners. They come up with, like we all do, all kinds of explanations.

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All this what I write here is nothing but words. Words originate from a group of cells in the left brain hemisphere. Words and explanations sometimes seems so very important but they are really just a fraction of a human being. I know this from before but I got it very clearly today after listening to Jill Bolte Taylor on Oprah.com. The right hemisphere of the brain has been totally ignored in our culture. I have ignored it all my life because I have been conditioned this way. This is wrong. I can see it clearly now. But the left brain hemisphere is also important. And even if the language center is small and often creates a lot of problems it has to be there, it serves a purpose. Without it we would be seriously handicapped.


(Crypto-fascism is the secret adherence of a party or group to the doctrines of fascism while attempting to disguise it as another political movement. It can also refer to an individual who admires or desires fascism, but keeps this admiration hidden to avoid social persecution or political suicide. The term is used in a similar fashion to crypto-Judaism or crypto-Christianity, referring to the secret practice of one faith while adhering to another religion publicly. From Wikipedia)

I am not only my body and my thoughts. I am also the trees, the ground, the sky and the birds. I had a glimpse of that feeling yesterday morning when I was walking through the park on my way to work. I am not only an egotistical little human being, not only an egomaniac. I am also something far greater.

In the old days people complained about dreamers and told them they had to wake up to reality. Today we know that everyone is dreaming and that reality is just a word, a noun.

What is consciousness? Think of it. What does it really consist of?
And what are thoughts? Are they nothing but electric activity in brain cells? But what is electricity? Look it up somewhere? Try an encyclopedia or a textbook on physics. Ask someone. What the hell is electricity? What are electrons? Are they tiny little particles or are they some kind of waves that really consist of nothing, or are they both?
What is light, really? What are dreams? What is matter? What are we talking about when we talk about reality?

What are we? Misconceptions? Misunderstandings? Imaginations?

I know people that are wonderful, but who think of themselves as complete failures. And I have met truly mean and evil people that really think of themselves as wonderful.

Some people are very stuck up. When they get turned on by spirituality they can get amazingly stuck up. They begin to think of themselves as Gods. They begin love themselves, they begin to trust themselves, they begin to believe in themselves. You can see it in the way they carry themselves, the way they arrange their faces, holy, advanced, awakened. You can meet many western people of that kind in India.

If you have a right-wing bend, a right-wing conditioning, you will read the bible with your right-wing glasses on and find passages that confirm your beliefs. And the passages that don’t confirm your beliefs will be reinterpreted to your own liking. The same thing happens if you have a left-wing bend. This applies to everything. A right-wing professor in history, or biology or economics, will find only the truths that confirm his ideas about everything.
So how can one free oneself from conditioning, left-wing or right-wing, life is meaningless or life is about whatever conditioning. Is it possible? Is it possible to free oneself from habitual ways of thinking? Is it possible to free one from habits, eating habits, smoking habits, ways of looking at oneself and the world habits? I think so. At least for short moments. This is when you focus your attention on the now, or happens to focus on the now, on the present moment. Then the mind will automatically return back to the old way of being. But I believe that it is possible to extend those moments of non conditioning, by practice. I also believe that it is possible to completely leave the old thinking pattern behind. It is actually possible in any moment, but we forget about it. Over and over again.

Some people don’t like pickled herring. What’s wrong with them? Pickled herring is a delicacy.

Some people love Mc Donald’s hamburgers. How on earth is that possible? Mc Donald’s hamburgers are terrible. It’s not food. Are they really meant for eating?

Some people like chili peppers, others don’t. Some like tripe; others rather starve to death than eating shit like that. Some like to have sex with someone of the same sex, others think that homosexuality is revolting.

There are,in the same way, different ways to try to satisfy one’s spiritual needs. To some people Eckhart Tolle tell exactly what they want to hear, to others he is nothing but a wolf in a sheep’s clothing. To some people strenuous yoga and meditation practice is the solution; to others the idea of practicing mental and physical gymnastics in order to later attain a higher consciousness is ridiculous. To some people nobody but the Prophet Mohamed has all the answers.

To some people everything is very simple. If you are hungry and feel like having something, treat yourself with what you like. Have a sandwich with pickled herring and a beer or get yourself a Big Mac at Mc Donald’s. Go to church if you like or to the Mosque. Or stay away from organized religion and take a walk in a park instead. If you don’t like jogging, don’t jog! Don’t try to convince people who don’t like pickled herring that they are wrong. And, of course, don’t kill people just because they like tripe.

I had this realization last night. I have spent so much time trying to convince other people that they are wrong, that organized religion and ideologies is terrible and that Mc Donald’s hamburgers are uneatable. What a waste of time and energy.

But I’m not a relativist. Everybody is not right about everything. Some people simply love alcohol. I know people that have managed to stay drunk for decades. I love to share a bottle of wine with a good friend, but I know that if you drink a bottle of whiskey every day, not only you but also other people around you will suffer. That is a truth. Everybody knows that, except the drunkard.

Alcohol, religions and ideologies can cause immense sufferings. That is a truth. But religions, I understand now, can also be like sharing a bottle of wine with a good friend. Religions is not my cup of tea, but I can accept now that other people enjoy it.

Truth exists. And truth is not relative. There is a spiritual dimension. The problem with our culture is that most people seems to believe that only ego and the materialistic dimension is real. To complicate things many seriously materialistic people pretend that the spiritual dimension is important to them. We live in a greatly unbalanced culture.
But there is a spiritual dimension. That is also a truth ,a very important truth. Though many people don’t know about it.