Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I have seen the world through the eyes of a newborn baby. I have seen the world through the eyes of a three-year-old kid. I have seen the world through the eyes of a teenager. Now I see the world through the eyes of a fifty-four year old man. We look at the world through different eyes, no wonder that we see different things. You may see the world through the eyes of a 65 years old professor or through the eyes of a drunkard in the gutter, it doesn’t matter, no one can see the world as it actually is, not even the great gurus.

We are completely dependent on our mothers when we are new born. Gradually, as we grow older, we must learn how to give, not just to want things. “I waaana have an ice cream, nooow!” “Take it easy. I'll buy you an ice cream in a minute. I just have to finish this.”

I work in a garden center selling plants, big trees, shrubs, roses, tiny little seeds. Mostly the customers are nice and friendly, but yesterday I had a woman who was demanding like a little brat. Something had gone seriously wrong with her. Well, I am used to this kind of people. Their problem is, I think, that they are too rich. Many rich people seem to never grow up. They are deeply convinced that they are entitled to all their money and to their selfishness, simply because they are so fantastic. They don’t know nothing about how to give if they don’t get something back or get a lot of praise for it. This is a very serious delusion and there is no cure for it. In fact, in our western societies we believe that this is how things should be. “Communism didn’t work. Isn’t that clear by now? Why don’t you go to North Korea? You idiot!”

In the mornings, I walk across the golf course on my way to work. In the evenings, I take another route and walk through the park. The park was created for some royal jerk in the seventeenth century so he could enjoy nature. Well, the nature itself wasn't good for royalties in those days; in fact, they were terrified by it. They wanted nature to be neatly trimmed, everything had to be arranged, everything had to be shaped. They were obsessed by "man over nature" ideas.

Anyway, often as I walk across the big lawn I feel like I wake up from a dream. I wake up from my thoughts. At work, I am totally focused on all the things that need to be done. I am totally lost in doing. However, when I cross the big lawn I often experience awareness to everything around me. My awareness is not focused on anything particular. I wonder if this is the space consciousness Eckhart talks about, or the awareness without a center, which Krishnamurti and Toni Packer talks about.