All the endless man made problems in the world, war, injustice, starvation, murder, hate, exploitation, pollution and so on, are products of ideas. The Nazis in Germany had the idea that they belonged to a superior race and because life is a battle between races, they had to defeat all other inferior people. They didn’t mind to kill little children if they belonged to an inferior race. Ordinary family men gladly killed little children.

Today we live by the idea that a completely free and unregulated market is the supreme goal. Human beings are egoists by nature and if we struggle like hell for our own benefit everything will end up in perfect order. The strong will survive and the weak will vanish. (Blessed are the strong for they shall inherit the earth.) That is why all the industries have been moved to China and countries with fewer regulations. No inhibiting rights for the workers, no inhibiting taxes, no inhibiting laws against pollution. Many people know by now what the result will be: an environmental world catastrophe, but we can’t change it. The Germans couldn’t change their ideas either. They where forced to change.

All political ideologies, all religions, science, misunderstandings and resentments, everything, is driven by ideas. But what are ideas really? What do they consist of? Are they material? Can we free ourselves from them? Is it possible to wake up from the hypnosis?

I’m going on and on and on and on about the same thing. Are there really no other people out there who have had enough of ideas? Life is about this, life is about that. I love myself, I don’t love myself. For heavens sake, all you idiots out there: WAKE UP!!!

If I was a rightist and you where a leftist we would for sure have problems getting along; or if I was a born again Christian and you where an atheist, or…
Biologically we are all very close, almost like brothers and sisters; it is our ideas, beliefs and misunderstandings that separate us and bring about all the violence, wars and horrors.

Also, if I feel inferior to you, because you look so good and seem so smart, then we will have big problems in our communication; or if I feel superior to you, because you are nothing but a cleaner. I mean, I’m married to a rich man after all, and I’m slimmer. The color of my skin is so much better than yours, and I took piano lessons when I was young and I am radiating so much more optimism than you do. Of course I’m better than you.

We stuff our heads with so much stupidities and nonsense and then it is almost impossible to get rid of it, why is that? Why isn’t it until we have to face death, or own or someone near to us, that we can begin to question ourselves. Why are the idiocies so strong? Why is it so difficult to realize even simple things?

Also PhDs and professors can be completely deluded. Education doesn’t change a thing. Look what kind of experiments Dr. Mengele and his scientist friends did in Nazi Germany when they used human beings as guinea pigs. Look what they do in the huge arms industry, all the well-bred, well-groomed and optimistic little boys in men’s bodies.

There is no hope for mankind. Throw all the nonsense about positive thinking in the garbage bin. We will not wake up, though it is possible. Some people here and there might wake up to some extent but the vast majority will live on as they always have, as complete idiots.

So, how do you deal with thoughts like this? Which is your strategy? Do you ignore them, stuff them away somewhere in the back of your head or do you try to find some neat rationalization? Do you pour yourself a drink, turn on the TV set and get lost in some fantasy world, or do you try to find some strange religious belief system, a sect that can comfort you?

You can listen to a CD with hypnotic suggestions. That might work for some time. NLP, Loving Kindness meditation or prayers; cognitive psychology, depth psychology, rebirthing, there are hundreds of different methods on the market, maybe you can find a spiritual master, but whatever you do, you still have to face the fact that reality stinks.

What the hell can we do? Is there anything we can do?

If we dare to see the madness clearly, if we dare to take the bull by the horns, if we dare to see how fooled we are by our own thinking, the awakening might come by itself. What do you think?

You can’t love somebody intentionally. You can’t love anybody or anything just because you should, your neighbor, yourself. Love and happiness comes by itself when we’re in a good mood.

So, if I'm happy and love everybody, sometimes, when I am in a good mood, how do I change my mood? Well, we can’t change our mood, it changes by itself. There is nothing we can do about it. It is like going to bed at night. We can’t intentionally put ourselves to sleep, but we can make it comfortable for us, maybe read a little and then turn the lights off, and suddenly we’re gone without the faintest idea how it all happened. If you have to wake up early the next day, and you begin to think about how many hours of sleep you can catch if you fall asleep right now, you will certainly create a problem for yourself. The sleep will simply refuse to come. It is the same thing with love and happiness. Don’t think about it. Don't worry about it. If you're not too selfish and if you can be a little helpful to others, without expecting anything in return, pure love and happiness will come, at times, by itself.

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Don't look down on a person just because he is wearing strange or awful clothes. In the same way, don’t put somebody off just because of he has strange or awful ideas. It is not a big deal really if he’s a right winger, a Catholic or a Hare Krishna follower. Many people simply don’t know what their ideas imply. It is the actions that is important. Judge people by their actions, not by their words. Some people can be wonderful to have a chat with, but terrible at home with their family.

Don’t try to wake up. Don’t try to be more aware, or more present. Don’t try to better yourself. Don’t try to be more optimistic. And whatever you do, don’t try to love yourself. All this is nonsense. If you absolutely have to try something, try to make yourself as unaware as you possible can. I’m not kidding. Make yourself completely stupid. Put some energy to it. Try the best you can to live your life in a fog. We’re all sleepwalkers. God made us this way. Get involved in some weird religion or belief system or invent some crazy philosophy of your own. Drink yourself to oblivion. Eat candy, drink liquor and watch all the stupidities you can on television - until you die. I'm serious. The more conscious effort you put into it the less it will work out. Try it. The proof is in the pudding.

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You can’t put yourself to sleep at night by willpower. Willpower is completely useless with such things. It doesn't work to yell at yourself: "Sleep now you idiot!" It is the same thong with relaxation. Don’t try to relax.

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There are different ways to be disillusioned. One way is to be depressed because one's castle in the air suddenly has crumbled. Another way is to feel a great relief because the illusions are gone.

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All political movements and belief systems have proved to be terrible. All! The conclusion must be: Leave all political movements and belief systems. Skip the elections. Democracy or Fascism, it is not much difference these days. Be a defector. But be careful. This can be very provocative to many people. So don’t tell them. Pretend that you are perfectly normal. This will spare you from a lot of trouble.

I am never really here in the present moment. I am always somewhere else. In all my free time I’m almost always lost in a book. I can’t eat alone without reading something. I can’t even take a shit without reading. If I’m not reading I’m probably lost in computer land or some fantasy or the other, far, far away, high up in the stratosphere somewhere.

I have read Eckhart Tolle thoroughly, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and a number of books on mindfulness and Buddhism. I doubt that many people, who are not scholars, have read as many books on psychology, meditation and philosophy as I have. (I have of course read tons of other books as well.) I am like that cook who has read all the cookbooks in the world, but never cooks anything. If he is hungry he has a hamburger or a pizza.

Well, I’ve been listening to a lot of different mindfulness training programs on CDs, I have taken meditation classes and I have been to weekend retreats, but still, I am never really present here and now.

During my morning walks through the park, on my way to work, I always try to practice being “here and now”. I intentionally try to be here where I am, to be aware of my walk, in the now. But it is only for very short moments, maybe for a few seconds or so, that I manage to stay aware. Of course I know very well that this is how the mind works, but still, after years of practice?

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There is nothing wrong with sitting meditation or Buddhism, but it is not for all people. I think it is for people of a special kind, with a special kind of personality. Some people like meditation, others don’t. Some people like running and physical exercise, others don’t. Some people simply love to hang around and do nothing, others freak out if they don’t have something to do.

This is what I have arrived at: There are many paths leading out from the forest. Everybody has to find their own way. But it is important to know though, that there are things that are common to us all. You can’t be a complete asshole and expect happiness as a result. You can’t lie too much to yourself and expect to find out something about the truth. You can’t bee to egoistic if you expect any progress on any spiritual path.

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. The ego is like an old dog. Jill Bolte Taylor had to have a brain hemorrhage to lose her ego. Something similar happened to Ram Dass. Eckhart Tolle had to be driven close to suicide before the ego lost its grip over him. There is such enormous power in ego. That is why we humans won’t ever change our evil ways. Words, books, seminars, weekend retreats, psychotherapy, years of meditation practice, nothing seems to do the trick. We will simply not change, even though it is possible. It is possible to give up smoking, and drinking; it is possible to change eating and thinking habits, but still, we won’t do it.

It is too difficult to break habits. So, stop trying to change anything, the world, your friends, your husband or yourself. Don’t try to be positive or realistic or optimistic. Do what you like or do what you don’t like. It makes no difference. Believe in whatever pleases you. I have given up the fight now. I have surrendered to an overwhelming enemy.

Some people speak in an affected way. They have an artificial dialect; like cultural snobs, politicians, religious fanatics, cool truck drivers or drug peddlers, just to mention a few varieties. They put on a show to impress others. They don’t speak with their own voice. They pretend that they are someone else. Their inner voices are most likely affected and artificial as well. Probably they have completely forgotten about their own true self.

Well, we have all been there. We are often forced to speak with another voice than our own? We have often to pretend that we are someone else in order to get away with something, stay out of trouble, or simply because we want things to run more smoothly. Sometimes we have to pretend that we are positive and optimistic, sometimes we have to pretend that we mourn. But after some years, if we completely have forgotten about our own true voice and our own true self, then what do we do?

How do we find a way back? Is there really a true voice in the head? Is there really a true self?

Is it not only after some kind of disaster that one begin to question things? Why should one question oneself if ones life is a success story? Maybe the catastrophes are blessings, necessary for us to wake up?