Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Some people are fragile, nervous and sensitive. They often spend decades trying to get rid of their nervousness but nothing seems to work. Alcohol, cigarettes and drugs gives only temporary relief. Psychotherapies and meditation does not seem to do the trick either. Medication can be helpful for some time, what I understand, but eventually the nervous person has to get off the medicine because of the side effects. My experience is that it is not until one begins to accept ones nervousness and fragility that things improve. The nervousness and the fragility are still there but one does not bother to fight it any longer.

We spend so much time, money and energy trying to change ourselves, trying to fit ourselves into imagined molds. One part of us is telling another part of us that we are no good and that we ought to do something about it. This is a crazy.

Some people pretend that they are religious; some pretend that they are optimistic and some pretend that they are sincere. Many people simply pretend that that they are not pretending and lecture you on how you ought to live your life. Surrounded by bullshitters it is better to give them some bullshit back. We are immersed in to a world of bullshit.

You cannot become what you already are. You cannot miss out your life because you have been so busy with other things. This is your life. This is what you are. You cannot say to yourself, “I ought to live in the now, nothing else is real.” You cannot say to yourself, “I ought to love what is.” Well, you can tell yourself how you ought to think, but it will not change anything. You can tell yourself, “Do not try to change anything!” But, isn’t that the same thing? We are trapped. This is the human condition.

“You must not give in. You have to wake up. You must not be so negative. You really ought to do something. This is just your mind playing tricks on you... ”


Doreen said...

Yes! but... once you are aware of all of this, then Your "life" becomes "pleasant". There is absolutely no point in trying to do anything by thinking. I am the living example of this. For years i tried to make art,in a sense, according to the concepts of the artworld, except that within that there is an acknowledged impetus to create something unique to that world. There is a push/pull relationship between You and this "made up" world of art. It is just incredibly fucked up! Some artists are incredibly clever, and can fit ( and at the same time "not fit") into the mold of "uniqueness". But they, too, can get caught up in producing work that 'sells'. Some are just lucky... they do what the like/love and it provides a "living" wage for them.

When I let go of the idea that I had to be accepted in that world... then the floodgates of creativity burst open and nothing can stop me from playing with the "art" that I Love. Sense perceptions are highly charged!

Doreen said...

Another thing, though...
I don't think most people know that they are pretending... when you talk about this it implies a conscious "effort" to portray the aspects you talk of.

They truly are unconscious of the way they "act". In other words, I say that the act of "thinking" is the basis of the pretense. It is just that one cannot do anything to get stop pretending. We don't know what, how or why a person "wakes up to reality" and another does not. I sense it is a matter of evolution.