Do you believe in God?
What do you mean by God?
I mean a higher power, much, much more powerful than humankind.
Do you mean electricity of sorts?
What an idiot you are! Do you believe that we have a father who cares about us?
Do you mean someone like Donald Trump or Homer Simpson?
Something is seriously wrong with you. Do you believe in Jesus?
Yes, I believe in Jesus. But who was he? Was he God? I believe that he was a Jewish preacher who taught that the end times were near and that God would overthrow the evil forces and create a new kingdom on earth. But the evil forces grew tired of him and killed him.
So, you are an atheist?
No, I'm not an atheist. I believe that there is a God, but he is like a guerrilla commander hiding in the mountains waiting for an opportunity to overthrow the evil dictator. The Devil is a powerful and cruel dictator, a psychopath. What is your God like?
God is like Jesus. Jesus is God, I believe.
Okay, but how do you explain that all the different churches throughout history have always sided with the evil emperors, kings, dictators, and presidents? How do you explain the witch hunts, the inquisition trials, and all the horrible religious wars?